Untitled

Shot in the backyard at least a month or two ago.

Julie & Julia And Hurt Locker

[WARNING: SPOILERS ALERT]

Nora Ephron's latest feature "Julie & Julia" chronicles the lives of Julia Child and Julie Powell right up until they made it big. Meryl Streep plays the mildly demented but totally affable Child who turned herself from a housewife of a diplomat to a master chef of French cuisine. You would have thought Streep over-acted this role if you haven't seen what the real Child was like in person or in person on TV. She was bigger than life and I imagine if a turkey can talk, it would probably sound exactly like Julia Child. Amy Adams plays the neurotic, sometimes combustible but always likable office drone Julie Powell who decided to cook all the recipes of Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" all within the time frame of a year and blogged her cooking endeavor along the way. At the end of the movie and as in real life, Child became this iconic figure of gastronomy eclipsing whoever before and after her. Powell became a writer she was trained to be, got herself a book deal and now this movie adaption of her book. These two characters never shared any screen time, much like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in another Ephron's quintessential chick flick of the 90s, "Sleepless in Seattle." Julie & Julia is not so much about relationship though it's a theme, as both characters have very supportive husbands to help them through their lows--there is a man behind every successful woman. The movie is more about women making a career for themselves. Some critics think the movie is uneven being that Streep's performance and Child's story overshadowed Adams' and Powell's story. That's a fair assessment. But I do think Adams as a young actor holds her own pretty well and the Powell's post 9-11 story adds a contemporary narrative to the movie that would have otherwise lacked. Adams just did a fine job much like what Anne Hathaway did in "The Devil Wears Prada." Of course, Hathaway was luckier and with it faced more of a challenge and privilege of actually sharing the screen and acting with and against the one and only Meryl Streep. The movie is enchanting and enjoyable.

If "Julie & Julia" is about existential issues confronting and confounding women, then "Hurt Locker" is about the survival of the craziest. If you think Julia Child is nutty wait till you see Hurt Locker. Kathryn Bigelow is one crazy director who prefers characters that are as nutty as herself. Blue Steel (1989), Point Break (1991) and Strange Days (1995) are all movies even the good guys are crazy. Hurt Locker, set against occupied Iraq, is about a team of three EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) bomb specialists who go to places where others including soldiers flee. William James, played by Jeremy Renner, the nuttiest among the three bomb specialists depicted in the movie, would not let anything get into his way when dismantling a bomb; not his partner's direction, or even the one hundred bomb suit that meant to protect him if he thinks it doesn't allow him to die comfortable anyway. Bigelow aims to be realistic in this movie, and on many levels I think she succeeded partly because first I don't know much about war, second there aren't any coverage from the main stream media on the war in Iraq. What appears in the movie does look realistic maybe except a few scenes which I found just a bit over done or contrived. The very first explosion was done in super slo mo, according to Bigelow it was shot using a phantom camera that can capture 1000 frames per second. It gives a very intimate look of the detonation and yet it somewhat takes the edge and ugliness out of it. Then you have the thinly veiled homoerotic scene where James is drinking and almost gets himself killed when horsing around in the dorm with his teammates. I have my doubt that's all I can say. And then there is the corniest of the corny, James takes a shower with his uniform on. I don't know how many times I saw a similar scene like that before in other movies. Can his guilt and sorrow be expressed any other different ways other than taking a shower, and with clothes on? At the end of the movie, James is still alive and ready for another rotation in Iraq where every stranger is a potential enemy and every wrong move can mean death. I think I even see his faintly defined smile behind the shield of his helmet as he is on his way to dismantle yet another bomb. I don't know if the war needs James more or James needs the war more. What I take away from the movie is both the war and James are pretty messed up.

Nikon L Focusing Screen For F5

I got this from Buy.com's marketplace. The vendor is from Brooklyn and I immediately thought ... well well well. But I proceeded with the order as the vendor got pretty good ratings and the screen isn't too expensive as I guess nobody is really shooting F5 let along getting the focusing screen that helps manual focusing. Only a dude like me would do such a thing. As it turned out, the vendor is pretty speedy and the item arrived yesterday. I placed the order on Thursday after 5PM, vendor shipped USPS priority with tracking on Friday and the package delivered on Monday.

I put the new screen in and it is just as described. And to my surprise, the screen actually affects the DP-30 meter depending on the lens amounted. As I read the information sheet, I actually have to dial down the EV reading if I use the 24mm f2 lens. I have to go through custom function 18, and set it to -0.5. I could not totally wrap my brain around this adjustment but I guess I just have to do it. Given the latitude of print films I don't expect to see a huge difference should I not even adjust it. All other lenses I have don't need this adjustment. Note to self, if I mount my AI Nikkor lenses, the 50mm, 24mm and the 35-105mm, the DP-30 viewfinder will default to center weighted metering and when only the 24mm is used with the L focusing screen, the EV needs to dial back -0.5 from custom 18.

Mir has this crazy information documented. Though the first time I read it I didn't pay much attention to the EV adjustment at all thinking that there is no way a focusing screen could affect the exposure. Well it does.

Cash For Used Underwear

We have cash for clunkers, how about cash for used underwear? Bring your used, stained, loose, skid marked underwear, and you will get brand new briefs from American Apparel or Uniqlo. How about that?

Cash For Used Computers

We have cash for clunkers, why not cash for computers? Bring your Intel 486, Windows 3.11 machine and you got a souped up Windows XP? How's that?

Hong Kong 2009

Cash For Nikons

We have cash for clunkers why not cash for Nikons or Canons? Take your 6MP camera and get yourself a Nikon D3X.

Taiwan 2009

The lily pond outside the public library in Beitau.

Family On A Scooter

Relic From The Past

Pay phone on the street. I don't bother to shoot vertical anymore. Our LCD is horizontal. Second, the file doesn't actually flip. This vertical picture is an exception.

Taiwan 2009

Taiwan 2009

Clinton Is The Man

Photo: KCNA via Assciated Press via NYTIMES.COM

Clinton is The Man. Kim probably said forget about Al Gore, give me the man, I want Clinton. So Clinton is it. Clinton totally eclipsed everybody without even saying much of a word.

note: no mater what every man's magazine tells you, if you want to be taken seriously, dark suit and white shirt is the only way to go.

Feud Between Nerds

For those armchair photographers--yours truly included, who live and breathe photography in front of their monitors, you got to love this: nerd feud between dpreview and nikonrumors. Dpreview is accusing engadget for breaking the embargo, in this case, the Nikon Coolpix S1000pj, by citing source from Mongolia, a reference and a swipe at nikonrumors. Essentially dpreview's Mr. Phil Askey is saying they don't play by the rule while he does. While nikonrumors says Mr. Askey is arrogant.

Shooting F5 In Times Square

At long last, I actually shot with my Nikon F5 and my 50mm f1.4. I loaded up the thing last week but just shot one picture. Very typical of me.

I was shooting my way to Times Square. The first shot was hard but then it got easier but never better. It was a new Times Square that I have never seen before, with a so called pedestrian mall where people can lounge on beach chair in sort of a make-believe beach right in the middle of Times Square. It is an interesting idea that David Letterman likes to make fun of.

I think it really takes some courage to be a street photographer it's definitely not for everybody. Again there is no set rules, I guess or I know I am no good with people. I don't want to just snap around. I believe in getting close to your subjects, either by developing a rapport or doing the complete opposite--total disregard of your subjects and getting blatantly close them. And I am not good at either and I don't believe in long lenses. I guess I better off stick to abstraction or what I think is abstraction of inanimate subjects. Anyhow, it's just my futile attempt to engage in something that's kind of fun and kind of arty farty.

As usual I left one last frame just in case I have the shot of my life happen somewhere on my way back and I wouldn't get caught with an empty camera. It's just a habit.

This time around I deliberately shot my Elite Chrome 200 at ISO 320 and going to push 1 stop in developing, as suggested by some helpful folk at photo.net. I just want to see what the pictures look like.

I just found out I have a finished roll of 135 film sitting somewhere in my closet and I have totally forgotten about it. I like this kind of discovery. I have another finished 120 roll film as well. So all together I have three rolls to be developed. Probably going to cost me quite a lot to develop and scan them.

Clinton In North Korea

Clinton is trying to charm his way to get to the women he wants. This time for the safe return of two American news workers arrested and sentenced to 12 years of hard labor in North Korea. I think it's about time the administration to engage North Korea and actually got the ball rolling. I believe North Korea is pretty desperate and look forward to engaging with the rest of the world as well. I have a feeling Clinton can bring the women back home. It's going to be a victory for everybody. If Clinton can achieve any accord with Kim, the ailing rocket man in charge of North Korea, in disarming the nuclear program, that would be the icing on the cake.

BREAKING:
According to the NYTIMES: Two American Journalists in N. Korea Said to Be Pardoned.

I don't know what Clinton did or did not. But apparently it didn't involve any shock and awe in securing the safe return of these two young women. Kim is crazy and sometimes for humanitarian reasons you just have to play along. It's pretty much an hostage situation.

UPDATE:
CNN just showed TV footage the two American news workers were boarding the same plane with former President Clinton. They are expected to land on LA on tomorrow morning. Mission accomplished.

Nikon Did It Again

Nikon just wouldn't stop. Following the heels of last week's ground breaking announcement of the Nikon D30000000, Nikon today introduced a slew of Coolpix cameras favored by the like of Ashton Kutcher and other socially active personalities. This time, the killer Coolpix is the S1000pj, a Frankenstein of a camera, the lovechild of a camera and a projector, a camjector. Why can't anybody thought of this before? I think Nikon is seriously and practically innovative. While other manufacturers seem deluded to make a so called serious P&S a la Leica rangefinder kind of digital camera, Nikon stays true to its Ashton Kutcher market and its definitely making a lot of progress and innovations. Well I am not saying Nikon is giving up on that well heeled and delustional market segment with amateurs who dream of shooting like Cartier-Bresson in digital and equipment that carries the price tag of a 2-family house. Not that there is anything wrong with it--I want to be in that market too if I have enough dough ....

Imported From The Past

Nikon F5, with 24mm f2 and HN-1 lens hood. I am a big fan of lens hood.

Nikon FE with MD-12 motor drive. Nikkor 24mm f2 with HN-1 lens hood.

Hasselblad 500C/M with Planar CF 80mm f2.8

Technical details that nobody is really interested except myself:-
All were shot using a D70 mounted on a ball head on a tripod. The lens was the 50mm f1.4 with the metal Nikon HS-9 lens shade screwed on, set mostly at f1.4 except the Hasselblad one which was set at f2 or f2.8, ambient light.

NOTE: Bending down and fiddling with manual focusing on the tiny LCD can be so tiring. I still have my Yashica Mat 124 G that's not taken yet.

Food In The Tree

I Cook Therefore I Am

One of the definitive attributes that differentiates humans from animals is the ability to cook. Out of the blue and into the supermarket I bought this over 2-lb dungeon crab. The thing looked pretty big and I was so afraid that it might actually be very watery inside. Because I just had that feeling. I torn the thing apart and cut it into pieces. As it turned out this was a male one and thank goodness the body was still meaty, though I could see it seemed to be losing its meat say in a week or so. That's the problem with buying dungeon crabs, you take a chance. Lobster, you don't have this problem. I just used ginger and scallion and be done with it.

On Kissena Boulevard

This is fresh off the camera. This is in 3:2 aspect ratio. Nikon D70 mated with a Nikkor MF 24mm f2. Guess estimate exposure and hyperfocus. Now after the SD880 screen, the D70 LCD screen just looks pathetically small. I carried in my bag my Nikon F5 and 50mm f1.4 and I didn't even use it once (the F5 is mostly for weight training, I just like to carry it around). I think even if I am going to get a "new" camera--to stimulate my create juice, I won't be using it much most likely sitting in the closet with the rest of the gang. Street photography is just hard in the sense that I feel embarrassed to pull out the camera and shoot things I find interesting. The best stuff I ever did in street photography was about some fifteen years ago.

In Taiwan

In Taiwan

In Taiwan

In Taiwan

How To Wash Dishes

and other bs ...
Do you leave the faucet water running? Basically yes.
Do you fill up the sink? No.
Do you use hot water? Sometimes. Hot water tend to cut down the grease factor faster and you can use less detergent.
Pet Peeve? Excess oil on dishes aren't wiped off first. Same with a spatula after spreading butter or peanut butter. Soaking them in the water doesn't help one bit, it actually makes a bigger mess. I like to wipe them off using some kitchen towel, if I can find a slightly used towel, even better.
Do you wash the bottom ... of a pan? Yes.
Do you use soap to clean cast iron? Yes, only the left-over soap on the sponge after cleaning other dishes. This is when hot or warm water helps.
Do you have a dishwasher? No.
Do you wear gloves and what size? Yes, the yellow ones, large.
Stainless or porcelain sink? White "porcelain" I think.
Delta or Moen? Moen then a very simple Delta. It's my impression that Delta actually last longer though Moen says it's for life. Just my experience.

Raining

Mini Movie Review

Taken (2008) on DVD
One very typical movie: the slut got killed and the virgin was saved. The End. Niam Neeson plays a retired government operative/superdad who cracked a Paris-based Albanian human trafficking ring single-handedly. The hand to hand combat scenes are good. But overall actions are just agreeable. There is no joy or fair as the story unfolds. Neeson is a good actor but some how his performance seems a bit constrained. Judging from the reviews I thought it would be better.

The Olympus EP-1 Backlash

Now the negative reviews keep piling in. New York Times columnist and Mac enthusiast David Pogue gives yet another less than stellar review of the latest Olympus Pen. It's gonna hurt.

UPDATE: 7/30/09
Dante Stella
Theonlinephotographer
dpreview
David Pogue

Nikon Nikon Nikon

Holy Moly. Nikon introduces a plethora of new and improved products. A two-pronged simultaneous attack on both the entry level and professional market. Almost all of them are pre-announced by a myriad of rumor sites months before they are official. So there aren't really any real surprises. No we don't need any surprise just rock solid Nikon performance and reliability (I think and hope I am part of the We as my Nikon is still a lowly D70 I bought like ages ago ...).

Nikon D300s, modest but sensible upgrade from D300. I want this. If you want to send me one, please go ahead.
Nikon D3000, new kid on the block.
Nikon AF-S 70-200 F2.8G ED VR II, an upgrade for a neat monster that hopefully will set new standard for the 70-200 zoom range in both DX and FX shooting. I want this too. If you want to send me one, please go ahead.
Nikon AF-S DX 18-200 ED VR II, an upgrade for an all-around lens for DX shooters.

Details of the wares can by found via the usual suspects.

My Book Shelves ... Finally

Most people like to show (off) their book collection, I am kind of late to the party, but finally here they are, a small collection of mine. Impressed? I am. Just don't ask me what I have, I really have no idea, they just kind of sit there like I have never read them.

Pigeons

Random Thought

After shooting the Canon SD880 IS for two weeks, the F5 now really feels like a pig.

The Bespectacled Alex

Harry, Alex and Gundam

Note: I hope I got the name right, Gundam. I am not a real fan of this whole "anime" genre. For me it was just cartoon that I watched in the afternoon when I was a kid.

Alex And Harry Drink Taiwan

News From Tokyo

tokyocamerastyle promises to take pictures of the camera's accessory, that is, its owner when possible. That's got to be interesting. No wonder he is compared to the sartorialist, only he is of analogue cameras. Initial pictures show promises. But either way I am a fan. I can't afford most of the cameras shown there but looking at them is fun too.

Everybody Is ...

Everybody is whoring now, from Tokyo to Hong Kong.

This whoring thing is once again confirmed by The Gray Lady in a piece on today entitled Young Japanese Women Vie for a Once-Scorned Job by Hiroko Tabuchi. Whoring is hardly anything new, what's worth reporting perhaps is it has become more and more acceptable and openly prevalent. Many young girls have no qualms admitting that they aspire to be a hostess or a "model" when they grow up. This recessionomy only tends to exasperate the situation as one of the interviewees, Atsushi Miura, an expert on the issue says, and I quote:

“Some people still say hostesses are wasting their life away. But rather than criticizing them, Japan should create more jobs for young women.”

So as long as the economy is still in the doldrums, we will be seeing more of hostesses or pseudo-models in the future. Whoo hoo.

Hong Kong Boobfair 2009

This is yet another update from my mole embedded in the 2009 Boobfair:

It is never fair in this world. It was official. The Chrissie books were sold out. I tried to buy a copy for you as a b-day present (the idea is actually I keep it till September). But I just couldn't. Many teenage boys who were late to the book fair were obviously sad, while many teenage girls were indignant despite the fact that their dress code has largely followed that of the psudo-models[sic]. They are showing more of their legs, arms, shoulders, cleavage and the northern hemispheres of their breasts. It is just giving what the market wants. China is in an upward trajectory. The CCP says that things have never been this great since the Tang Dynasty and we all know where the neckline was at that time. Little wonder I bot[sic] less books this year.

Editor's note: Anybody can criticize those pseudo-models but from some certain C-list starlets who basically peddle their wares in similar fashion except more clinging onto the pretense and pretext of healthy sexuality done in tasteful manner, is just like the pot calling the kettle black. The "contrived indignation and phony moralizing" is just sickening.

Pan The Pen

Dante Stella declares the Olympus EP-1 an epic failure, with a question mark appended, I think just for being polite.

Alex Sees Taiwan

I suggest everybody should have his eyeglasses done in Taiwan, at least the one we went to. It's a mom and pop operation, see the family room and the playpen in the back? And with the machines I saw I have no doubt everything is done on premise and next day service kind of proves that. I have a pair done there as well. It's $1,000 Taiwan dollar (~USD30.478), for a pair of lenses. I love my Shuron Freeway and Sidewinder, I mail ordered them in the States and have the lenses done in HK and Taiwan. Taiwan is the cheapest and on a par if not better than the ones done in HK. I am happy with the ones done in HK, it's just that Taiwan offers a very good price. Actually I regret not to have everything done in Taiwan knowing what I know now. Oh well sometimes things work and sometimes things don't.

Harry Eats Taiwan

Harry doesn't like noodles. There is no way he would like the taste of cilantro. He ate some nonetheless. He's very fastidious, both him, his brother and his Dad too .... I personally like the flavor and the portion.

Taiwan 2009

Harry is having his hair cut in a mom and pop hair stylist shop right after his brother got his.

Mini Movie Reviews

CX provides quite a lot of choices for us captive audience above the sky as far as on board entertainment is concerned. This time around the seat is not exactly wider or provides more leg room for us Economy flyers but it has better designs; it has wide screen, power outlet, and above anything, a non moving recline design that only moves the seat forward without tilting the back to inconvenience the passenger sitting behind you. A design that prevents Economy travelers pretending to be in Business class at other's expense. So that's some great new designs there. I believe there might even be free wi-fi actually on board. I was able to pick up some signal from some seemingly onboard ESSIDs called "US Airways Free WiFi" and "Free Internet Access." Both are peer-to-peer with weak signals and no DNS. I was able to connect intermittently but no browsing. I wonder if I know the exact IP would I be able to browse. Anyway, here are the mini onboard entertainment reviews.

Onboard Movie Mini Reviews
Gran Torino (2008)
It shows Eastwood still got it both as a director and an actor. Eastwood plays a newly widowed bigot who are greatly disillusioned with lives and finally comes to accept his Hmong neighbor after some pulled pork and whatever Asian cuisine his neighbor offered. It comes to a sad but not totally unexpected ending as old Eastwood goes one on many with the neighboring thugs in the final show down. In one movie, Eastwood takes on race, bigotry, religion, immigration, aging, and hence dying with great fair and success.

親密 (2008) or Claustrophobia
I thought it was a horror movie just looking at the English title, Claustrohpobia. The Chinese title is vastly different though they are related in the sense that one can certainly lead to another. Apparently, due to their long hours at work in a cramped remote office and the long car ride together after work (work is practically slavery in corporate HK I suppose), the characters kind of fall for each other even the guy is married with a young daughter and the wife is expecting. Cheng Ekin provides his ever reliable wooden performance as Tom the office manager whom Lam Kar Yan as office lady Pearl somehow falls in love with, rather involuntarily, naturally and somewhat inexplicably. This is writer director Ivy Ho's ambitious directorial debut, a non-drama drama that trys to elevate the everyday mundane into something arty farty. This feature shows flashes of brilliance in story telling and directorial talents which are a breath of fresh air to and a great departure from your usual Hong Kong movie-scape. A promising debut indeed.

賭神 (1989) or God of Gamblers
Director Wong Jin shall make no apology in making this movie totally silly and thoroughly entertaining without any self-effacing irony. An earnest attempt to just being funny. The actings and actions are grossly and excessively over done. Just the costume of the 80s is entertaining enough, both Andy Lau and Joey Wang have jeans that practically go up to their chests. Chow Yun Fat was more enjoyable before he became all that serious and internationally acclaimed.

The Reader (2008)
How do you humanize a Nazi SS prison guard and make her sympathetic? You cast Kate Winslet to play the leading role of this female cougar Hanna Schmitz who preys on a teenage boy for sex and for reading her books. Schmitz didn't learn to read or write until when she was in prison for the war crime that she did off camera before the beginning of the movie. Winslet gives a solid performance and so is David Kross who plays the young Michael Berg, Hanna's love or sex interest. Ralph Fiennes plays the middle aged Berg and looks kind of constipated throughout the movie, perhaps that's what's required of the role. As an aside, I am pleasantly surprised numerous nude scenes are preserved, I mean CX is a British company so I guess they are not afraid of nudity like we Americans do.

Watchmen (2009)
One word. Unwatchable.

如果。愛 (2005) Perhaps Love
This is not part of the onboard movie I saw. Rather a DVD I saw at home.
This movie is about a tragic love triangle among a director, an actor and an actress. It's a musical and yet a movie. Never mind, it's all about showcasing how good looking 金城武 Takeshi Kaneshiro is, his eyes, nose and above anything else his hair. And his penchant for swimming with his pajama and night gown on in the middle of the night in slow motion. That's pretty much about it. The movie is a high value production with a very contrived love story that really amounts to nothing much. (update: the sheer mention of the name Takeshi Kaneshiro has drawn search traffic no wonder people hire him to appear in movies, though my visitors have to be disappointed as there aren't much information and hardly any pictures of Takeshi Kaneshiro here at all.)

7/29 UPDATED FROM COMMENT RESPONSE TO EXILE
Duplicity (2009)
I forgot to mention Duplicity. I had high hope for the movie because of Bourne Identity and Michael Clayton. But this one is just bad or I was too tired. I don't know if I bother to watch it again just so I am sure it's not all that bad. It got some serious coverage from The New Yorker. But it is bad. It's like what was going on, the plot line is unnecessarily convoluted and uninteresting and in the end I just couldn't care less about what's going on.

The International (2009)
Also, International. Another feature starring Clive Owen. The guy looks good in trench, well he has to be. This one, at least you got more actions as the story progresses. The gun battle in New York Guggenheim is just as ridiculous as anything you find in a Hong Kong action movie a la John Woo. But at least it's pretty entertaining.

Hong Kong Random Eats

Thank you guys

Only one girl showed up from the old days. The rest were too heart broken and stricken to come. I can understand.

I naturally protect myself whenever I sit next to Denise Dennis. Even when he is with a beautiful woman now, I don't feel all that safe.[editor's note: thanks Sid for pointing out the Denise thing, slip of the finger]

This was certainly not random. Thank you for making the arrangement, ghorse and all for making it a pleasant evening, dear friends. We have known each other for so long, hopefully there are more to come every so often. Take care friends.

Hong Kong Boobfair

Here is an update ...

The Hong Kong Boobfair continues to blossom under the punishing sun of the summer. While necklines plunge, sales rise. Books from the models are flying off the shelf at an unprecedented rate that can make any bona fide writer cringe and green with envy.

Reportedly, more teenagers and understandably certain uncles, are having seizures from prolonged exposure of the boobs and one handed reading ....

More updates follow.

Related blogpost.

Also Love in 2-D by Lisa Katayama on today's New York Times Magazine.

Home Is Where There Is Cheap Haircut

Here I am, shamelessly taking a snapshot using the Canon SD880 IS. Look mom, there is no viewfinder, I am composing using the gigantic 3" LCD shooting in 16:9 anamorphic cinemascope (I really don't know what I am talking about).

Traveling Economy

Traveling some 15 hours in Economy Class.

A Room With A View

News From The Far Side

My mole from HK is giving me the "latest" scoop on what's happening in the bookfair, an event I sadly miss ... Here is the report as guest blogged by my anonymous friend from the far side:-

Let me give you more on the on-going psudo-model[sic] show at the book fair. Yesterday, or the day before, whatever, Chrissie tried licking icecream in front of the cameras. Somehow, she couldn't control her tongue and the icecream was all over her body. The crowd, mostly teenage boys, went wild. Meanwhile her 'books' were flying off at the rate of 8000 copies a day. To put things in perspective, they couldn't sell 80 books about Roman History in the history of selling Roman History books in the local book fairs. There were also reports that many teenage boys, having gone to the book fair, came back home and then their parents found them locked up in their room for up to 10 hours[editor's note: most certainly spoof generated by the bros from hkgolden, but there is no doubt things of this nature actually happened]. It was not just boys. There was one 'uncle' I know of, who having visited the book fair, gone on a plane and locked himself up in a hotel room in a European capital for hours. Who knows what he is doing there?

There you have it. This pseudo-model event promises it won't end until it sucks dry every teenager's or certain uncle's man juice.