We Are Safe, Sort Of

The Williams sisters are out of the singles game .  We (OKAY, I) can breathe a collective sigh of relief not to be tormented by Venus' skanky tennis outfit and rest assured that there won't be any Serena on court outbursts.

French Open - The (Almost) Emancipation of the Venus Two

Venus Williams got more than tennis balls to take care of on Roland Garros.  Her boobies (click at your own risk) are at any time going to burst out of her lingerie.  At least it looks that way through out the entire match.  She spends a better part of her court time trying to put them back in their place, plenty of tucking and pulling between plays.  The broadcast is reluctant to show any slow mo of her play out of respect to viewers because not all the viewers have the stomach for this constant booby attack.  Santonja of Spain lost the match largely because of Williams' bouncing booby attack and bare-bottom like flesh color undergarment distraction.  I wonder what the English would do should Williams choose to wear this this whorish outfit in Wimbledon.

French Open

Despite Germany's Andrea Petkovic incessant heartwrenching pleas for Oprah's help, she was beaten by Svetlana Kuznetsova after failing to convert four match points against the Russian on the second set.  Petkovic was heard squeaking "Oprah" through out the entire match.  Alas, Oprah was no where to be seen and even if she was there, I couldn't imagine she could be of any help to the 22-year old once Kuznetsova saved the second set and began to strong-arm the third.

Thoughts on Roland Garros

It's not like the French haven't seen any well paved tennis courts before.  The English have well manicured lawn tennis courts (though by the end of the fortnight tournament, all the grass would turn into hay or the courts simply develop large bald spots like some middle aged men), and the American and Australian,always rational and practical, have well cemented hard courts  And what do the Frenchmen do to their tennis courts?  Nothing.  It's basically courts filled with dirt.  Players, some actually millionaires in shorts and skirts, have to suffer the indignity of getting their tennis shoes and socks all caked up with mud for all the world to see.  It just goes to show how ridiculous the Frenchmen can sometimes be.

Tennis, France and Lingerie

Venus Williams loves her lingerie so much so that she just wears it to the first round of Roland Garros.  What's more spectacular than Venus' tennis is her tennis outfit which never fails to shock and awe the spectators.  Her only competition in that department?  Her little sister, Serena Williams.

Photo Laurent Rebours - AP via Washington Post