Random Musing: Little Reunion

Chang says with ominous accuracy that "only people who don't have a life are interested in others' private matters." It's with this voyeur's mentality that I proceed to read Chang's posthumous Little Reunion.

Little Reunion is Chang's catharsis to bring closure to part of her tumultuous life. In so doing, it's almost impossible to distinguish whether Chang is writing herself or writing a fictional character, Shing Gau Lei, who is by and large, in Chang's agent and confidant Stephen Soong's words, "unconventional" and "unsympathetic," just like Chang herself. Fiction is all about human experiences. Chang documents her life in every minute detail possible: from infant to a ghastly abortion with the fetus ended up flushing down the toilet. And in between, some wild sex that includes "carpet munching" and vigorous thrusts that are cervix crushing.

When she was an infant, she prefers to be fed with a china spoon to a steel spoon that inexplicably leaves certain fishy metallic aftertaste which doesn't sit well with her fine palate. This is a quiet harbinger to her impeccable taste and at times irritating sensibility which can easily guarantee her a lifetime of unhappiness. In the course of reading her loveless lonely upbringing in the big family, I can't help but see certain parallel in Chang's description to that of the Dream of Red Chamber: the impending collapse of the old, the decay of the filthy rich, the incestuous relationships within the family, right down to the wet dream of his own brother. Chang saves the most harshest revelation to herself. Gau Lei or herself is amoral when it comes to love. Often time, she sounds like she prefers the war never ends, placing her own interest above that of her own countrymen (she sees herself an outsider no matter where she is). Knowing her first love and probably the only love of her life, Shiu Chi Yung (Hu Lancheng in real life) is married doesn't stop her from beginning the relationship. Nor the fact that he works for the Japanese during the Sino-Japanese War. And not even when she discovers Shiu is a serial womanizer who seems to have an insatiable and uncontrollable appetite for women and sex even or especially in dire times. Many years after their relationship ended, Chang can no longer think of Hu's name but still knows the feeling--her innards are like boiling, her whole body is like on fire, the waves of pain only recedes after a few rushing up the body; the lady may be just experiencing hot flashes during menopause and yet she romanticizes it and attributes it to Hu. Her relationship with Hu may not be what the readers like but this is how she honestly feels about Hu and this is how she lives as a human being and she as a writer likes to share her private matters in all their glory with all those who are willing to learn about life.

I like the non linear narrative of the book. Life is fragmented and so is memory. The structure of the novel just reflects that. Chang picks up pieces of her life bit by bit, and fastidiously arranges them for the world to see. Right on the very first page, Chang is telling us how it's going to be done: the narrative is present, then fast forward to the future then back to the present. And in the end, Chang brings everything full circle, ending the story where it all begins, echoing the exact same sentences. It sends chills down on my spine when I read the very last page.