My morning number 7 train ride

It's about time for a new entry.
I take the number 7 train every day, or actually every work day. There is little to like or dislike the number 7 train. It's crowded, it's even more crowded if you take it during rush hours. You would think with the recent terrorist alert lifted, you would get a better ride, but hell no, there was some delay and the train was crowded, I mean like at the door, people are breathing on each other's face.
Subway Fighters
So a fight broke out between these two guys at the door. They were men of few words. Just after a few nasty exchanges at Queens Borough Plaza, they stepped out and had a bare fist fight. So that's not bad, you got free entertainment on an otherwise mundane train ride. Just imagine you have to pay $40 for a pay per view on cable. You got a live performance right in front of you, no cable bill follows. Perhaps the terrorist alert was lifted, so no police was present on the God police forsaken Queens Borough Plaza. The other train riders stayed indifferent to the whole fight, after all we've seen it all. Sensing nobody is noticeably appreciating their efforts, the two subway fighters stopped and got back on the same very crowded train and breathed on each other face again, man, you wonder if they really liked each other...The actual fight lasted about 15 to 30 seconds, both were standing and were trying to talk tough afterward. That was pretty much the highlight of the ride.
Subway Donts
Don't pluck your facial hair
In my mind, there are things you shouldn't do on the ride.
While the above fight came to an end , another woman got a seat in front of me and started busy touching herself up. She was all busy plucking her facial hair above his her lips and between her eyebrows. It lasted much longer than the fight, and I was like where were those hairs going, must be airborne. What's next, was she going to wax her armpit or bikini area right on the train? Girls, there are things that ought to be done in your privacy, not for your own comfort but for others. I kind of think, applying some lip gloss or powdering your nose is acceptable, but spending the whole ride pulling hairs from your face and discarding them around is not...You got to draw the line some where. We have subway "law" that bars carrying open container, like coffee or water. Against photography. I think we should have laws prohibiting subway riders from:-

• Plucking hairs, facial or otherwise
• Combing or brushing hair continously and extensively
• Clipping nails, fingers or otherwise
• Pole hugging, pole dancing naked is perhaps OKAY
• Standing on the left side of a moving escalator showing no apparent signs of disability
  
• Seating with legs crossed and sticking them out, guys, it's the subway not your living room.
• Seating with legs wide open. Yes, you are BIG, I understand, but still you don't have to open your thighs at ninety degrees or bigger
• Squeezing in their shoulders. Everybody loves a seat, or make it a lot of people. But just respect first come first serve, plus you paid for the ride not the seat, so don't feel like you have to sit your ass down when you see a space no matter how fucking narrow the space is. When you sit down in between seats, don't exercise your right of last in and all shoulder in, there simply not enough shoulder room.

One of these coming cold winter days, I am going to explode if some jerk attempts to park their shoulders in regardless of the space, I am going to fuking kill them.